Risky Play - why it’s great and how to support it.
When we hear the word risk, we often think about children taking physical risks that may endanger their safety, but there is more to this kind of play than first meets the eye.
Taking a risk means that we begin a course of action without being certain of the outcome.
So when a child 'first' goes down the slide head first, that could be considered taking a risk. But once they land safely and realise it's okay, then the second time - it's no longer a risk. If it turned out badly then they will adjust their behaviour – they might decide never to go down head first again, or they may use their hands to slow themselves down. The more often a child can repeat this cycle of risk-challenge-problem solving, the more they will be able to 'risk assess' effectively and adjust their behaviour accordingly.
But risk taking isn't just about physical play. It can also be an action that risks an uncertain emotional outcome for example potential disappointment, frustration or rejection.
When children first enter my playroom they are taking a risk. Will I be friendly? – what will they have to do?
When they first approach a new friend in the playground, they are risking rejection.
A child engaging in creative play is risking disappointment or frustration - What will happen if it doesn't turn out how they imagined?
When a risk turns out badly the child may experience hurt (physical or emotional) and will make an adjustment to ensure that the bad outcome doesn’t happen again. If a risk turns out well the child will feel positive about themselves, then they will repeat the behaviour, and maybe add a new level of risk.
So it is clear that being comfortable with taking risks is a HUGE part of a child's physical and emotional development and growth (and ours too). Without being able to take risks, to step in to the unknown, to learn from mistakes, children can become anxious and rigid, unable to move forward and unable to grow.
Children need the adults around them to facilitate this risk taking, but most adults are very risk averse. How often do we truly allow children to take risks and to learn from their mistakes. (By the way, I don’t mean risks that would really damage them – then it is our role to prevent that risk).
We are often uncomfortable with uncertainty, ambiguity and risk. We have built up a life-time of our own experiences and we project our learning onto our children.
We expect them to learn from OUR mistakes, but they really do have to learn from their own.
I typically observe that adults:
• Over- estimate the level of risk
• Step in frequently to stop children taking risks in the first place
• Allow some risk – but over-coach and over-explain so that the children aren’t really working things out for themselves (careful, mind-that, next time do it like this, stay in the lines, etc)
• Problem-solve for children or rescue them when things turn out badly (let me do it for you).
So how can we facilitate healthy risk taking? Here are five top tips for parents and educators to become more comfortable with risk.
1 Allow children to make mistakes.
Do not project your own fear of failure onto children. Do you berate yourself when something goes wrong? Try and become comfortable with making mistakes yourself. Create games where the purpose of the game is to get something wrong or do something badly.
2 Bad outcomes are opportunities
Understand that the odd bump or bruise, hurt feeling, disappointment , failure or frustration is actually healthy and necessary for growth and development. If you embrace these as opportunities for growth and learning then children will too.
3 Don’t catastrophise
Be aware that the activity the child is doing is probably NOT as risky as you think. Their eye is very unlikely to be poked out by that stick they are playing with. Unless physical or emotional damage is inevitable/highly likely then children are pretty good at making the adjustments necessary to keep themselves safe from severe harm, both physical and emotional.
4 Don’t rescue (but assess if your help is REALLY required)
Try not to jump in and rescue at the first sign that a child is experiencing challenge. Children really do need to work things out for themselves and our presence, support and patience while they work something out is far more valuable to them than jumping in and ‘fixing’ it for them. In solving a problem or challenge, children learn that they are competent, capable and resilient and they develop their own tool box of what works for them.
5 Play! Play! Play!
Free play is where children will often engage in self-directed risky play. They will purposefully work themselves to the edges of their physical and emotional boundaries and capabilities to ‘practice’ in a safe environment.
6 Know YOUR child
It goes without saying that children are unique individuals with their own temperament, physical capabilities, sensory profile and understanding of the world. What matters is that each child is able to experience being at their own unique boundary of challenge, and not at someone else’s.
I’d love to hear about your experiences of risky play.
Til next time -keep playing . xx
Jacqui xx