A touchy subject..
Why is Touch so important for Children?
Touch is vital for human beings to thrive and survive.
Research shows that increased levels of physical contact correlates with
Decreased levels of violence
Greater Trust between individuals
Lower levels of cardio vascular stress
Stronger immune system
Stronger relationships
Greater learning engagement
Overall wellbeing.
The evidence is compelling, and yet as professionals, we often shy away from physical contact with the children with whom we work. And this is understandable given that the consequences of getting it wrong or of being misinterpreted are very serious indeed, both personally and professionally.
In addition, for some children who may not have experienced safe and loving touch, or who have experienced or witnessed violence or sexual abuse, any touch can be challenging and potentially triggering.
And yet the benefits for children’s wellbeing are so substantial, quite simply it is our duty to find a way. Our challenge is to enable children to experience all the benefits of touch, with no risk to them or us.
To do this we need to ensure that some safeguards are in place.
Boundaries
In modelling how to positively set boundaries, and in encouraging children to do the same we are giving them a hugely valuable life lesson. Let children know that in any activity involving giving or receiving touch they are free to say or indicate ‘no’ or ‘stop’ at any point. Always make sure that when a child states their boundary, it is respected. Fully.
Set and Respect your own Touch Boundaries
If you are feeling uncomfortable with how a child is touching you, then gently say so and ask them to stop. When working in Early Years, it is not uncommon for a little hand to begin searching for a bit of skin to stroke for comfort. It is perfectly acceptable to gently guide that little hand to a bit of skin you are happy for them to have access to, with a brief explanation of why. My personal safe touch boundary is that children may touch the skin on my hands and lower arms, and my face and neck above the collarbone. Anywhere else is simply not allowed and I will explain why.
Openness
Where positive touch activities such as a story massage or peer massage are planned, ensure that these are undertaken in an open environment, where everyone can see and hear everyone else.
Take the Child’s Lead
Give as much touch as the child is asking for, and not what you want to give. For example, if a child gives you a hug, accept and enjoy it as it is presented and let the child take the lead on when the hug is ended. Likewise if a child chooses to hold your hand, let them decide when to drop it again.
Gain consent for all touch – including intimate care
This is an important point in Early Years and SEND settings where I have observed practitioners picking up children and attending to their intimate care needs such as nappy changes or wiping noses without any verbal warning or gaining consent first. This is an invasion of the child’s bodily space.
Find small ways:
For children who find any touch challenging, there are many small ways that it can be safely introduced. For example, children could paint each others’ hands to make hand prints. Some traditional games and songs involve slight touch, such as 1 potato, 2 potato or Ring – a – Roses. For children who find any skin to skin touch too challenging, games and activities where objects are passed between two people and eye contact maintained can be a start and a step in the right direction.
I’d love to hear how you encourage positive touch in your setting and any games and activities that have proved successful. Get in touch!
Want to learn more? I run Safe Touch Workshops, where the principles and practice of safe touch will be explored, and the concept of Story Massage introduced, which is a known safe and effective way to introduce safe touch and peer massage to the children with whom you work. You will also learn about the physiological and neurological benefits of safe touch for children. Get in touch if you think this would be of benefit to your setting.
Jacqui xx